Splendour In The Grass, More Like Epic Disappointment In The Grass

Published - - Posted in Opinion

Hate to sound all cynical here, but… Splendour In The Grass would have to be the biggest fucking joke in Australian history; 2011 history at least anyway. Tickets are what a few hundred dollars and what are you paying for? You’re paying to see a roster of primarily Australian artists that tour the country like 100 million times a year.

The organisers thought getting Kanye “Douchebag” West onto the line-up would cause tickets to fly out the door. I guess nobody sent them the memo that said only high school dropouts that drive around in Commodores with southern cross stickers like Kanye West.

In previous years Splendour tickets would sell out in minutes, their website would crash because obviously the money they’re making isn’t going towards things like you know, better fucking hosting which wouldn’t even cost them that much if they used Amazon Cloud hosting or something, this year tickets didn’t sell out. I guess you could say this might be a sign that the “grass” is dying, they might as well just rename the festival “Epic Disappointment in The Grass” because that’s what it is.

For the record The Mars Volta are playing at Splendour, I feel sorry for them because they’re such an awesome band and Splendour is such a shitty festival now.

  • KillHipsters

    Wow. Nice first article, I’ve got to pick up my game now. Epic Disappointment In The Grass, hahaha. Aww man, that was such a good call. Nice work cynic, can’t wait to see what else you come up with for the site.

  • steven

    The amount of drugs everyone at splendour is on, they might as well just call it “Ecstacy In The Grass” or “Dealers In The Grass” or perhaps more appropriately drug addict and dealer convention masquerading itself as a music festival.

  • jealous bitches

    your all just jealous you arent going to splendour! so fuck u all i love kanye!! love him and so do my friends! so have fun with ur gay computers! while i party!